wait for me to switch it off!

makeitwork @ 2009-06-07T20:14:00

2009-06-07T12:14:23Z

my fingernails are too long.

my toenails also.

makeitwork @ 2008-10-14T21:35:00

2008-10-14T13:36:24Z

firstly, i must stop being angry. (the cussing will go away with that.)
secondly, i am very thankful for friends.
thirdly, i have awesome music!!

makeitwork @ 2007-11-20T00:11:00

2007-11-19T16:12:23Z

it's an almost perverse pleasure to see what i predicted come out exactly the way i thought it'd be.

i feel like expelling everything out, but i can't.

SINCE THE FIRST NON-LOCKED ENTRY SOUNDS DAMN EMO

2007-11-04T15:36:34Z

ian is very happy
ian got 41 points
ian is getting a mac (and feeling awesomely guilty about it)
ian has 1.7k for ee
ian had a 3 hour nap today and feels on top of the world
ian has aching triceps

so there.

i have stuff stuck up my nose.

------

actually, yeah, i haven't gotten over my results.

makeitwork @ 2007-07-29T23:03:00

2007-07-29T15:11:06Z

life is making everybody snappy and what with all the stupid inundations of acronyms here and there (cas iop tok ia brb lol) i want to fly off in a ball of flames and lounge around watching my kadabra own all the gastlys/haunters at pokemon tower in lavender town

God will pull me through this, there's nothing He can't do, is there?

makeitwork @ 2007-07-15T21:25:00

2007-07-15T13:26:40Z

i'm amazed at the amount of courage i've actually mustered today, but it would really help if you'd reply, y'know, my mind is racing wildly and i wish i knew what you were thinking

secret secret!

2007-07-11T10:02:56Z

english - 64% 5 points
chinese - 73% 6 points
econs - 73% 6 points
physics - 77% 7 points
math - 93% 7 points
music - 86% 7 points

you can now proceed to scold me.

gtg: "i expected you to do better, why didn't you top the level?" or something like that haha

i'm only posting here because i don't want to worry people on the other one

2007-07-08T09:04:32Z

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

i remember i wrote in my last zhou ji last year that, in spite of all the things that've happened, the only thing we can do is to lift our head high, walk on, and not look back.

i wish i could practice what i preached.

my neh neh is itchy

2007-07-01T06:00:42Z

OMG OMG JOHN WILLIAMS CONDUCTING ET SCORE HYPERVENTILATE HYPERVENTILATE HYPERVENTILATE

itzhak perlman is awesome too

eric where are you i miss you ):

2007-06-29T00:38:41Z

so i was looking back at all the LJ posts i made this year, and most of them are emo and self-piteous and generally "look at me i'm so miserable come and cheer me up and sing me a song!" so i will clean up my act, i will not allow myself to descend into the whole quagmire of nonsense and spoil my whole life.

and i want to watch closer again, i'm looking at my LJ display pic and natalie portman just looks... heartwrenching.

yesterday patrick and i were looking through the chat logs we had on google talk one fine day during walrus' class last year, and marveled at how we've suddenly seemed to throw that life away and step into a new one. (as an aside, i have what looks like hardened bird droppings in my toenail. yuck.) and well patrick, cw and daryl - i want to hang out with you guys again, excuses like syf and slam and frets and random stuff that were valid for the past 6 months aren't anymore. and i miss all the potong pasir jaunts - it isn't the same walking to andre's house from the station as it was when i walked to cw's.

righto, this post is too long.

HELLO NATALIE PORTMAN I THINK YOU'RE HOT.

2007-06-18T09:41:04Z

i am thankful for a lot of things, which is why i bought a gigantic stack of black paper from bintulu, but i haven't had the time to actually do them and i must get round to compiling a list of people to write cards for. after all, this year is my 17th, i shall give people cards instead of them giving me (and also, i get to remind them that they haven't gotten me a birthday present, hurrah!)

also, it seems that a lot of people remember my birthday but i cannot remember theirs. chris kng, for one. (i am terribly sorry, is it in the area of...september? october?)

love at dolphin bay

2007-05-10T10:40:46Z

i have been very emo the past few months, and i feel very dir4ectionless. of course, that has come hand in hand with a period of spiritual dryness, but after cell last week i feel better and i have regained my trust in myself and learnt to trust God again.

but that does not automatically give me immunity from these emo bouts, and it's not just because i'm the only gep in my clique now and all the people from my past are far far away.

sometimes i just need someone i can lean on (of course i know there's God! but i also want someone else, if you know what i mean) someone i can be fully comfortable with. which is why i'm glad for dre popping into my life for absolutely no reason at all, thanks.

makeitwork @ 2007-03-06T20:51:00

2007-03-06T12:53:07Z

i think that the more you think someone's done you wrong and harbour the whole bitterness and find it hard to forgive said person, the more you need forgiveness.

and anyway, the class has decided to have an outing right smack in the middle of guitar camp games. this is irony.

makeitwork @ 2007-02-27T20:21:00

2007-02-27T12:22:19Z

being serene and calm is harder than i thought, i actually have to make a conscious effort from descending into depression and anger

good ood ood

2007-02-22T14:14:18Z

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet
Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me
When I am surrounded, your love carries me

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, your love makes me sing

Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing deep inside of me
Every time I see you, all your goodness shines through
And I can feel this God song, rising up in me

Yes, you make me sing
Lord, you make me sing, sing, sing
How you make me sing

thank You, Lord

2007-02-15T15:12:02Z

kenny (kenneth?) thanked me for my initiative, and now we're not mutual ignorers anymore.

actually, i was expecting such a wonderful response, because i'd been feeling this urge for the past few days (ever since becca's sharing about the person whom we might not have liked) to clear the air and ask him what the problem between us was, but i didn't do it until today.

thank You, really.

see, this balances my emo post just now. hurray.

right about now

2007-02-15T13:03:59Z

i could tell you that i was colourblind, or that i'm left handed, or that i have really big floppy elven ears, or that i got 39+3 points last year and missed 44 points by 3 marks, or that i've supported arsenal since i was eight, or that i play pool almost every night with patrick, or that i've been discriminated lots of times because i was gep, or that i got food poisoning when i was 6, or that my metabolism rate is really high, or that i can be really random, or that i can be a really good friend if you trust me, or that i give in/apologise too easily, or that i can be arrogant sometimes, or that i love playing the piano, or that i have a very acute sense of insecurity, or that sometimes i just sit on msn waiting for people to talk to me, or that i'm scared of being too aggressive when making friends, or that i'm really scared of rejection, or that i do homework in class and recess so i can slack at home, or that i'm always worried that i'm not living my life the way God wants me to, or that i'm scared my best friend's going to desert me for his year 5 class.

all you have to do is ask.

indecisions

2007-01-07T13:01:14Z

i was reading becca's twin sister's blog (i dont' know, it was a random blog hopping thing) and then i saw her talking about how her friends had already decided what she wanted to do but she didn't, and how the small voice of God is drowned out by the noise and humdrum of the world, telling you what to do.

it's scary being me because i'm whimsical and i always reach decisions at the last minute. i only had a few days to finally decide between chem and physics, and it was physics one day, chem the other (which really scared the shit out of me because i thought that both times, God was talking to me)

well, today as i retreated onto my bed to think of what to do, the thought that what i took for my subjects didn't matter to God suddenly came to me. so i happily went along with physics and chinese a2 (again, just hours before i was telling daryl that one should take chinese b instead) and i'm scared that i won't be able to cope, what with finishing at BLOODY SEVEN O CLOCK on tuesdays and thursdays and just as long day on monday, but i've done nine subjects and got a decent 80% average (or something like that). i don't say this because i'm eager to show off, but because i know that i'm able to handle the increased pressure, and i'll have God with me.

haha oh dear

2007-01-06T14:07:13Z

i haven't been updating this! okay i resolve to update more, but most of them'd be friends locked anyway.

makeitwork @ 2006-05-31T15:04:00

2006-05-31T07:24:30Z

letters scribbled furiously
on recycled paper, cut out into different shapes and sizes
frequent reminders not to forget us, with
bible verses taken from every corner possible.

people passing by; lives to move on with.
and of course, the magic word
that tries to encompass every imaginable emotion
but doesn't.

school + others yes this is long overdue sorry.

2005-12-20T12:35:45Z

okay shoutouts!

chris kng!

the only reason why i know you is because you came for an urgent fps meeting and then KNOCK BOTTLE INTO HAPLESS TEACHER'S HEAD. then after that frequent conversations on msn, the funthing at eric's house and the excessive amounts of sugar poured into your milo, the stay-up-until-4am study mornings (and our overdependency on coffee) and such! haha thanks for keeping me awake when we were studying (remember the simultaneous equation that i couldn't solve? haha) and helping me with my math, which was ridiculously bad at the time. hurray!

chongwee!

probably my oldest secondary school friend, you old minx. being placed next to you in class (lousy useless teachers who never switched us around every term) turned out to be good as the both of us ~~engaged (okay wrong verb)~~ talked and talked and talked, became good friends again (and mahjong buddies too, i shall never forget the time when i slipped on your pee/mucus/liquid) and i started going to your house like twice a month. thanks for taking 33 with me this year, even though it wasn't really in your way. thanks for always being this random, insane creature (say, who does that sound like) to laugh with everywhere we went, from daryl's bag strap getting caught in your pants, you constantly urging us to go to chinatown ~~(to do something pagan)~~ to eat dessert, your test-tube erotica, to your invitations to runecast, read tarot and do similar pagan things for daryl and me. i feel really blessed to have you as a friend, but you really should do your homework once in a while!

daryl!

hmm what to write here. there's so much we've done together this past year, it's almost hard to thank you for everything without leaving out something here or there. i have no idea how we made the rapid transition from bare acquaintances to good friends, and one of my best at that. I remember the many rides home on 33 (like chongwee, it wasn't in your way, but thanks anyway), the many lunches at bugis during our exams (at chongwee's behest), your rapid metamorphosis from liking avril lavigne and rachael yamagata to liking rammstein and (subsequently) other german songs (not saying that they're bad, i like 99 luftballoons). our similiarities (in personality, thoughts and such) are strangely uncanny (and perhaps that is why your life is screwed up, apologies) and i appreciate the close bond that we've had over this past year. your intellect leaves people (namely, me) in envy, and your superior bitching skills too. have i mentioned that the similarities in our personality are so very similar?

eric!

thank you for being there to bitch at, and being so cool and calm when receiving the insults. thank you for being exasperated every moment of the day and bearing the brunt of our laughter, anger and love. i know, my insults are usually quite cutting, but i love you anyways (: and thank you for being so forgiving and having a hug as deep as a valley! (: hurray and your guitar skills are consummate in the gep so good for you.

mr azmi

thank you for all you've done for me this year - the wonderful math lessons, the efforts to be close to us, and of course, the scolding (and subsequent lunches to make up for it). you're a great teacher (and a great scolder too) and thanks for being such a caring teacher this whole year. looking forward to fps next year!

patrick!

thank you for being my secondhand cd store and lending me your nice songs! hm try not to be the epitome of useless, and try to book people once in a while (for the right offences, of course!) you know, you are really nice, and good because you absorb all the abuse people heap on you like a perfect little starfish.

kaijun!

i think that you are quite a good person to be with, and your frequent bouts of insanity and anti-logic leave me gasping for much needed oxygen. good luck with your triple science classes (and francis soo) next year and try not to pine too much because it starts to drain your energies!

sean!

last one hahahahahaha. i think you're the only limclanner i talk to regularly, and how weird that is! thanks for the worship (that went horribly wrong) and thanks for always being there to talk to, regardless of how out of point and nonsense you are oh dear. our fearless fps leader, thanks for your tireless efforts to get the team together even though the main troublemaker (ie me) kept wanting to slack (re: playground) so thanks for being such a great friend and i can't write anymore because i'm hungry.

szuuuu szuuuu!

you know i miss talking to you (no i don't pine for you) because you're funny and you ~~are foolish enough to like weird acts~~ have the tendency to make good music choices ~~once in a while~~ like arcade fire! you were a very good friend in sec 2 but i guess we've drifted apart due to 1) different classes 2) commitments and yada yada. so yes next year i better see you more often!

shoutouts - church!

2005-12-04T12:01:32Z

(will be edited if i commit the grave error of not including you in this!)

(i think this introduction won't be repeated in subsequent shoutouts. hurray.)

as the year draws to a close, it is time to count all my blessings (yes, all 506 of them) and give thanks to the people who have made this year all the sweeter and wonderful!

someone says they're really short, and i'm sorry but this friendship that we have is quite indescribable, really.

alphabetically arranged so no one has the chance of feeling affronted!

in general, there is no need to know every single detail, sordid or normal, about each and every person on this list for us to become good friends.

here goes!

charis jazz band! (haha unofficial name)

it was a relatively short period of about 3 weeks or so, and we only played three songs (amazing grace, everytime i feel the spirit, i will enter his gates/this is the day) and worship together but the whole experience for uncle jonathan's wedding was fun, the practice sessions, the wedding and subsequent dinner a time to get to know each other; and all in all it was a fun experience. to uncle johnson (sax), uncle jones (lead), uncle steven (bass), uncle edwin (rhythm), jon tang (keyboard), gerald (drums), samuel (percussion), my sister (double bass), and lastly uncle noel, who put all of us together, THANK YOU. hopefully we DO get to go to nepal!

charmaine/mariann!

it must be really hard to put up with all my random ramblings and the various words i type in place of "hello". i still have that sweet note you wrote from sunday school and it's really encouraging. you've been a great friend to talk to this whole year, in spite of our mutual bullying and bitching sessions (hee)and the day when i started sending you all my assignments and you wanted to start smoking. our transition from not-friends to friends has been quite sudden (and all through msn some more) and i'm thankful for the help, counsel etc that you've rendered. thanks for being there for me and being so easy to confide in. and you're really strong in your faith i have a lot to learn from you. (which includes being nice to people and talking to people normally) have a good year ahead and do better for your math! (: God bless!

cherie/ma'am!

yihui brought you to church this year and i must say that this year has been quite eventful for you. you're the only female gamer i know (and damn good) so don't let anybody deprive you from doing something that you love, because it's what makes you unique! (: you're the three Ls - lean, loud and lame, and sometimes you make people give you -.- looks or be embarassed to be seen with you. but FoP was when we became good friends and it was awesome wasn't it? haha there's so much about FoP to talk about, the stuffing of sweets into the envelope, the jumping, your supreme skills at choping seats etc. and then sunday school retreat and the many halo battles we had! (isaac is public enemy no 1 and must be destroyed.) remember that the whole controversy was NOT your fault and you should not blame yourself. continue being happy because that's what makes you enjoyable to talk to! (:

felicia/fatimah!

at the start of the year, i thought that you were irritating but i have been really, really wrong about you and i'm very sorry. you're so sociable and friendly and you have no problem fitting in with anyone at all! you're probably the newest addition to our group, and seriously we had absolutely no idea how nice you were because you usually hang out with your gang, and us with our clique, so it's only this year that I, and everybody else, got to know you better, and you us.

isaac/idiot!

i can't stand it your intellect (as well as your atlantic accent) is so superior you put me to shame. thanks for always being there for me, in that you always listen when i bitch and throw in some philosophical thoughts on the way so that i feel justified in feeling whatever i'm supposed to feel. you're quirky and strange, like me, and we've known each other since we were babies, so it doesn't matter that i have no idea what your class is, and who your best friends are, because in church we put everything aside and learn about God (and i learn a lot from you). your whole life seems to be a philosophy, and talking to you is just like speaking to a theologian, because you have so many valuable insights and i hope we grow closer next year! church camp was great, and you were a wonderful roommate.

justin!

you're so NICE you know and so very sweet! and so friendly and sociable no wonder everybody likes you! academic excellence may be the biggest thing giving you pressure but it's not everything! as uncle kee fei says, failing subjects just means that you'll do better the next time around. so cheer up! O levels are coming up so relax and you'll be okay (: God bless!

kat/aminah!

thanks for being my wonderful coconut sibling i guess we were quite good friends because of children's choir and all but grew closer during church camp! the talks through to 2am (and me oversleeping and not being able to send you off as a result!) and the four of us (isaac, you, my sister, me) keeping each other through the nights. the wacky activities we did in our hotel room (breaking the wine glass, bitching sessions, my sister's 'welcome to thailand') and so on. and sunday school camp (aminaaaah!) thanks for the nights of bitching, talking and going high (you and the milo). i guess nights are the only times when everybody can bond because there isn't any time otherwise! congrats on being a prefect (that's two in the family already, stupid karen the outsider!) and study hard for sec 2!

kelly kwan/sophia!

thanks for ~~being there to bully!~~ your cheerful and talkative self every time i see you! i've known you since we were tiny but this year was when we actually became closer, because of all the various activities we participated in as a class. i will always remember the impromptu ss worship sessions, and teaching each other worship songs. church camp provided us with an opportunity to know each other better, and thanks for queuing for FOP (the stupid guard who made you lose your place in the queue) and sunday school camp, of course, what with your infatuations for yongen and my bullying you (see i'm being nice)! being vice-head prefect comes with all its perks and bummers, but I know that God will shine His face upon you and next year will be even better! (: good luck with bao-ing the whole tan family!

naphtali!

church camp was a blast eh. i'll always remember our hilarious skit, with (kelly) clarkson and (justin) guarini as the hosts, abel and stephanie as david and victoria beckham, me as yao ming, mark as the diaper man (and marcus as the hapless swimmer) and the whole group of youths beating the adults to get 3rd place! (: will always treasure that 4(4?) days we spent in bangkok.

rae/granddaughter!

this year's an important year for you, since it's your 'o's, and we haven't really talked much this year (which isn't necessarily a bad thing because i don't think you don't feel like an outsider so much now.) we've only had one Krymidish outing and it turned out quite bad because we didn't include you all (and on your birthday some more, apologies!) you've changed a lot for the better now and as a result you're happier! while randomness is the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. (: your 'o's results are in God's hands so for now relax and do whatever you want. rock on girl!

sec 3 ss class!

actually it's not really the class, but the subgroup that's been together for almost every class activity this year. this year's been quite good for us, what with church camp, FoP, sunday school retreat and the sunday school camp bringing us closer. (i've repeated that phrase don't know how many times gah.) special mention to the silent heart attack, the wonderful barbecue we've had, SARDINES, and captain's ball (heehee we should play it again sometime! i promise i won't defend...)

yihui/maria!

like kelly and isaac, we've been friends for our entire lives, from our parents being in the same cg to us being in the same cell! (hurray!) thanks for being a great groupmate for church camp and those talks into the night. (although we avoided your room for the last few nights because of that thing) and helping us queue for the last day of FOP (and buying those chicken wings, i still remember!) and the big obiang umbrella! of course, thanks for sunday school camp and all the bonding we had, sitting on the dirty floor on the third storey and talking, sitting in the basement and laughing. great eh? i know you went through quite a bit last year but we're all good friends now so all those effort was worth it, wasn't it? have a great year ahead and good luck with choy yoke! (: God bless!

yingen/supervisor!

second youngest sec 3 thanks for queuing up with me during FoP first day during those AGONIZING hours under the hot sun and putting up with my delirious ramblings like "do you think [everybody else] will come in time?" and so on. and being a wonderful groupmate during sunday school camp (hah we won first!) yay hope you like the football and get first for table tennis! one of this days we will throw a waterbomb at you and you will get WET. hah. have a wonderful year ahead and God bless! (:

endddd!

this song is contagious! baaad.

2005-10-30T05:32:22Z

They made a statue of us
And it put it on a mountain top
Now tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum
Take photographs for fun, for fun

They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

We wear our scarves just like a noose
But not 'cause we want eternal sleep
And though our parts are slightly used
New ones are slave labor you can keep

We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
The tourists come and stare at us
The sculptor's mama sends regards
They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
Our noses have begun to rust
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
Were living in a den of thieves

And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

heather nova!

2005-10-29T05:13:10Z

found this song on womenfolk. nice song!

"Blue Black"

Eat your words, eat your heart out
Eat your words, eat your heart out

There's not much left, just my red dress
Just this feeling that I got
You made me a victim in your Christmas kitchen
It's my memory it's your loss

Blue black, maybe you got something but the flowers grew back

And was it familiar when you touched my sister
God, I don't think there's a word for that

Blue black, maybe you got something but the flowers grew black

I gave it away, whore for a day
It's so ugly, I'm still breathing
But you never got my virgin heart
It stayed locked up, it's still beating

Blue black, maybe you got something but the flowers grew black

Eat your words, eat your hat
Eat your words, eat your heart out

I never felt so clean, you did the sin supreme
You never had a clue, you can't take it with you
I never felt so clean, you did the sin supreme
You never had a clue, you can't take it with you.

poems!

2005-10-22T05:59:47Z

yeah it's my first time writing them, so they might be quite lousy.

Reconciliation
See how they drink in your desert of pain
Bleeding, weary and hungry, these blind men
Searching for that oasis we hide so dearly
If only to keep our sanity

Look! They have found it, and stumble in its glory
Thinking they will be able to find the truth.
We run, far and wide, hiding ourselves
Not wanting to be seen.

Their leader stops. He seems to hear
My footsteps, running towards the mountains.
He screams, and the sands consume me
Opening up a path towards you.

I have failed you.
I have not been able to tear up the venomous truth that he will tell you.
But you must not believe him! You are not his child.
You are mine, and no one will take you away from me.

time
her
i must leave you today.
your magic enthralls me and your eyes deceiving.
how long more can you force me to do your bidding,
skittering across the clouds?

i will leave you today.
you fiend, your lies spin around me, dazzling me.
you will not know where i will go anyway.

i am leaving you today.
you will not miss me, for your victims are endless.
i will be gone before you know it
but you will not care.

him
but you cannot leave me.

her
this pain threatens to hurl me into despair, and it burns, oh so brightly.
i will leave you today.
your words fail to impress me, and i will not care if-

him
come back to me, darling.

yes i wrote that before i went to sleep so yes it's quite bad!